Cantagion of Happiness: being a happy me means being a better parent

I've spent the last 6 weeks sharing the contagions of the small mobile petri-dish known as my child. We've coughed, snotted and felt miserable together, but as his is getting better mine has turned into bronchitis! Sucks to be old.

So i thought this week, that i'd practice a little contagion of my own...not of the germy bacterial kind, but of the viral gigglitus kind. Emotions are contagious, regardless of intention or vector, the person with the strongest emotions will infect those around them. This week, I'm going to try infecting people with happiness. Now this is not a Hippy-Dippy Polyanna recreation, I'm not going to ignore when stuff isn't working or pretend that bad things don't happen (My engineer of a husband would never let me get away with it). But i am going to try to be a little more choiceful about what i am passing on to those around me.

Step 1: find bright spots or moments of bliss/flow/joy/fun
 Friday: Spent time just hanging out with my Dad. I haven't done this in a long time and haven't done it with this little anxiety more that 2-3 times in my life. It was amazing. I am really really grateful that he would share that time with us.

Gymnastics class: Tristan has been attending for about 2 months, he loves it and seems to be picking up new things each time. In the beginning i was anxious that he learn to do it (whatever it is) the right way. That other parents saw me as someone who knew what i was doing & that my child didn't seem difficult to the coach.  Well my child is 2.  Sometimes he's difficult. Sometimes i don't know what the hell i'm doing. Sometimes it takes him 2 minutes to do an activity that another child does in 30sec, but he really likes it.  Like hopping like a bunny down the runway trampoline.  He figured out this week that he could bounce high enough to knock him back on his butt.  He thought it was the funniest thing ever!!  I figured out this week that no one cares, in a good way. No one is spending any time thinking about me, my parenting techniques or the challenge of my kid. They are too busy with their own kids & lives & thoughts. So this week i just worked on letting my kid be there. He swung on the ring & dropped into the foam pit for the first time ever. (no video, but hopefully he'll do it again next time;)

Singing Holiday Songs: Even though i could barely sing and definitely had no power to my voice due to bronchitis, it makes me really happy to sing Christmas songs. Even the dreary, Presbyterian church dirge ones.

 Step 2: Schedule time for Bliss
This one is harder.  I can continue to attend but try not to judge Gymnastics class. I can schedule another time with my dad, but first i should probably just send him a note that tells him how much i enjoyed our time. I will play Christmas songs at home (and sing along at full, warbling volume, Sorry, P;)

What contagion are you spreading around when you interact with others?

Happiness is Contagious
by William Martin, from his book The Parent’s Tao Te Ching

If you always compare your children’s abilities
to those of great athletes, entertainers, and celebrities,
they will lose their own power.

If you urge them to acquire and achieve,
they will learn to cheat and steal
to meet your expectations.

Encourage your children’s deepest joys,
not their superficial desires.
Praise their patience,
not their ambition.

Do not value the distractions and diversions
that masquerade as success.
They will learn to hear their own voice
instead of the noise of the crowd.

If you teach them to achieve
they will never be content.
If you teach them contentment,
they will naturally achieve everything.

We all want our children to be happy.
Somehow, some way today
show them something that makes you happy,
something you truly enjoy.
Your own happiness is contagious.
They learn the art from you.

Happiness Questions: Theme 1 week 1

• Do you agree with Aristotle that happiness is the “chief good” – that everything else we do in life are means to this end?

• Look at how you spend your time.  What “roads to happiness” are you already on?  What beliefs, activities, and habits do you have that routinely bring greater happiness and meaning into your life?  Don’t forget to consider activities that deepen your connection to others, including your children.

• Look at what you want for your children, and correspondingly, how you have shaped how they spend their time.  What activities do they do, and to what end?  Which of their activities—include family routines and such—do you think will ultimately bring them the greatest happiness?

Happiness Journal: Entry 1

As part of this new online class I signed up for at the beginning of the month, i need to start keeping a happiness journal. As one of my main goals during this class is to figure out how to keep those that i love and care about closer in to my day to day life I figured this was a good place to do it. Nothing like letting it all hang out;)

Lesson one requires me to take a couple of online tests at Authentic Happiness So I took the Satisfaction w/ Life Scale: scored 23 on 5-35 scale. Also completed the General Happiness Questionnaire: scored a 4.5 on 1-7 scale. Both of these scores are generally in the middle of the scale and also happen to mean that I am generally happier than about 40-50% of the people around me.

Next see some questions about happiness;)